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'The Invasion' Review |
Excellent Review: |
The Invasion —
Rated: PG-13
• Lots of Nicole "MILF" Kidman looking Sexy without even Trying!
Not too many people know this but.....Nicole Kidman secretly has the HOTS for Danny!
• Some Scary Scenes involving Aliens Forcing their "Help" onto Humans.
• Some Pretty Lame Action Scenes.....and some Completely Unnecessary Action Scenes.
• Lots of Bad Special Effects.
"Bad" might not be a strong enough word.....The Special Effects Really, Really SUCK!
Running Time: 99 Minutes
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"Danny's Personal Feelings About
The Invasion"
The Invasion"
Featured Movie Review:
THE INVASION
THE INVASION
"Do Not Trust Anyone,
Do Not Show Emotion,
Do Not Fall Asleep"
Do Not Show Emotion,
Do Not Fall Asleep"
Copyright © 2007 Warner Bros.,All Rights Reserved
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The Invasion is a remake of a very good sci-fi movie I used to watch over and over again as a kid: Invasion of the Body Snatchers from 1978.
And the '78 movie is a remake of the a 1956 movie also called Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
The '56 movie was directed by the Great Don Siegel.....who would later direct Dirty Harry, The Killers, The Beguiled and Escape from Alcatraz.
I think I might have seen the original '56 version once or twice.....I don't have too many recollections about it.
Copyright © 1978 MGM,
All Rights Reserved
The '78 version has always freaked Danny out because.....
• Leonard Nimoy (aka: Mr. Spock) becomes a "Pod-Person"
• A totally gratuitous and unnecessary "Nudie" shot of Brooke Adams near the end of the movie.
It doesn't really need to be there....but so what!
Naked Boobs never needs a good reason to pop up or "pop out" unexpectedly! 
• A bleak and negative ending.....I really hate artificial Hollywood happy endings.
A lot of 70's movies reflected the paranoia that people felt from the chaos of the 60's and 70's (Assassinations, Watergate, etc.)
What we learn in The Invasion, more than anything else, is that.....
"Human Emotion Is The Cause Of
All The World's Problems"
All The World's Problems"
Copyright © 2007 Warner Bros.,All Rights Reserved
The story from the '78 version is about spores from Outer Space invading the earth and attacking humans.
These humans are then duplicated in these nasty looking pods.....the Duplicates look exactly like humans but they have NO Human Emotions at all.
The lack of emotions was really only used as a "Story-device".....a real human can pass himself off as a duplicate human if he can Pretend to have no emotions.
If you make a mistake and show any emotions at all, even if it's just sweating, the aliens would clobber you and force you to become a "Pod-Person"!
In this new version of the story called The Invasion, the part of the story about the lack of emotions from the aliens is incorporated even more into the story.
Near the beginning of this movie, Carol Bennell (played by Nicole Kidman) is at a fancy dinner with her doctor boyfriend, Ben Driscoll (played by Daniel "James Bond" Craig).
At this dinner are the wealthy elites of Washington D.C. and various political diplomats.
A Russian Ambassador gets into a discussion with Bennell about the reality of the human race.....
"Civilization is an illusion; a game of pretend.
What is real is the fact that we are still animals driven by primal instincts.
Civilization crumbles whenever we need it most. In the right situation, we are all capable of the most terrible crimes.
Imagine a world where this was not so; imagine a world where every crisis did not result in new atrocities, where every newspaper is not full of war and violence.
This is to imagine a world where human beings cease to be human."
"Human Beings are Naturally
Violent Creatures"
Violent Creatures"
I personally believe this to be true.
And Recorded History will also verify the fact that there has always been War (or the threat of War) in every single part of the world.
Hell, even Nature is at war with itself. Animals live and feed off of weaker animals all the time. Hippies and Environmentalists who try to portray Nature as Loving, Caring and Gentle are Full of Horse-Shit! I discuss the True Nature Of Mankind in my Awesome Full Metal Jacket Page. |
And the violence that is performed throughout the world are from people who are unable to control their emotions.
Even the political leaders who want to organize and orchestrate one group of people to commit genocide on another group of people.....they know the best way to this is to stir up Paranoia and Hatred towards the people that they want eliminated.
Hatred is a Very Powerful Emotion.....it clouds and distorts Reason and Logic. It allows people to commit vile acts on other people.
The obvious example of a man who had mastered the skill of Emotional Manipulation in order to get his "Subjects" to commit Mass Murder for him is Adolf Hitler.
Allow me to share with you a Personal Goal that I've been Striving to reach.....
"Danny Strikes Back.....
Against Emotional Manipulation"
Against Emotional Manipulation"
For many years now, the one thing I've tried to do more than anything else.....is to Control my Emotions and not let my emotions be controlled by someone else.
The reason why I've been trying to Control my Emotions is so that no one will be able to Manipulate me through my Emotions.
Everywhere you turn, someone is trying to cash in on your emotions.
Hollywood Movies are always trying to make money through Controlling your Emotions.....as do Politicians, Activists, Celebrities, Journalists, TV Personalities and Advertisers.
My "Humorous Hatred" of Chick Flicks has always been because of the emotional manipulation of those kinds of movies.
If you read any book on Marketing or Political Science....you'll find tips, techniques and strategies used to manipulate other people's emotions.
In this U.S. Presidential Election Year of 2008, I'm sure you seen more than enough examples of attempted Emotional Manipulation by all the Political Candidates who are "running for office" or trying to "keep their office." A Politician Cannot Allow the voters to "Think for Themselves" because they may decide to vote for someone else. They have to try to Gain an Advantage in the polls by creating an atmosphere of Fear and Paranoia against their Political Rivals. Their Strategy is simply to Control your Decision Making Process.....by Controlling your Emotions. This Strategy is Pure Machiavellian (new window) in Nature: You Control The Individual! |
"Aliens Want To Help The Humans.....
Or So They Claim"
Or So They Claim"
So in The Invasion, these Outer Space Pod People show up with the promise to end all war and suffering throughout the world.
Which sounds great.....except for One "Itsy-Bitsy" Minor Detail:
You have to give up your humanity.....you have to give up your emotions by being controlled by the aliens.
For Our Permission" I shouldn't use the words "Give Up Your Humanity". That makes it sound like the aliens are approaching the human race and asking them if they want the their "Alien Assistance". The aliens ain't asking a Goddamn Thing! They are Taking by Force! They are Invading the Earth and making Emotionless Human Duplicates.....whether we like it or not! |
While the emotions that cause Violence and War are taken away.....so are the emotions that create Joy, Love and Happiness.
The few people that are immune to these spores cannot be allowed to live and disrupt the new "Emotionless" order of things.
That's the dilemma that Carol Bennell (played by Nicole Kidman) faces..... even though she wants an end to all suffering, she doesn't want to give up her humanity. And the humanity of her cute little son.
The Invasion has a few genuinely scary scenes.
No bloody violence is shown.....but it does an "OK" job of re-creating the paranoia from the first Body Snatchers movies.
Remember, the aliens look like us.....so how do you know whose human and whose alien?
The new Battlestar Galactica TV show uses the same Plot Device. Their enemy, The Cylons, are able to look human AND imitate Human Emotions. This creates Panic and Paranoia among the Humans who can't tell Human from Cylon. |
The Invasion has the ingredients for a Great Movie but.....
"This Movie Did Not Live Up To
Danny's Expectations At All"
Danny's Expectations At All"
• Their aren't many Special Effects in The Invasion.....but the few that are there are just terrible.
Danny means really, really bad.....it looks like they hired some "Pimply" high school geek to throw some Shitty Effects together with his Macintosh Computer.
There were some problems during the production which caused The Invasion to go way over budget.....so I'm guessing that during post-production, the movie studio decided to cut costs by cutting the quality of the Special Effects.
In particular, the Helicopter seen at the end of the movie was completely Phony Looking.
Instead of spending a couple of bucks to get a Real Helicopter, the studio decided to use obviously Cheap CGI instead.
• I found out that Warner Bros. didn't like the movie when it was completed.
So they replaced the original director and hired The Wachowski Brothers (The Matrix Trilogy) to do some re-writing and add some actions scenes.
They brought in James McTeigue (director of V for Vendetta) to help out.
But the action scenes are just horrible.
The Invasion is good for the first 80 minutes.....it's not Great, but it's not Terrible either.
Then, out of nowhere, come these totally out-of-place action scenes..... complete with car chases, Molotov cocktails and last minute helicopter escapes.
It's like they ran out of creative writing ideas so they used the "Tried and True" formula of tacked on action scenes followed by a totally unconvincing Happy Ending.
Now I love action movies.....but this movie had no action scenes until the very end.
For the first 80 minutes, it was a scary sci-fi movie with some real tension.
Then, all of a sudden and out of nowhere, The Invasion turns into a cheap imitation of Die Hard!
And I do not think of Nicole Kidman as an action hero.....much less a NASCAR driver which is exactly what she turned into at the end of The Invasion!
Danny also believes that the studio interference also contributed to the Choppy Editing of the movie which included unnecessary flash-backs.
It was like the flash-back was thrown in there to help the audience understand a particular plot-point.....but the only way that an intelligent audience can mis-understand a plot-point is if the movie was badly written in the first place!
• Daniel Craig is completely wasted in The Invasion!
They could've edited him out of the movie completely and it wouldn't have made a difference.....Craig's character does almost nothing in The Invasion!
The Invasion was shot in September 2005....over a year before Craig starred as the new James Bond in Casino Royale in 2006.
It looks to me that Daniel Craig's character was minor to begin with.....but when he was announced as the new James Bond, they "forced" his character into more of the movie.
Maybe more scenes were written in for Craig by The Wachowski Brothers at Warner Bros. request to take advantage of Craig's new found fame as James Bond.
Danny believes that Craig only shares top-billing with Nicole Kidman because he's the new James Bond.....not because his character is crucial to the plot of The Invasion.
By the way, Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig both starred in The Golden Compass in December 2007.
The Golden Compass was another Financial Flop for Nicole Kidman and the movie studio that financed it, New Line Cinema, got into big trouble because of it.
New Line Cinema was "Re-structured" in February 2008 because of The Golden Compass and other horrible Movie Investment Choices they made.
You can read more about The Golden Compass and the self-destruction of New Line Cinema at Wikipedia! (new window) |
• The Sudden Resolution of the Alien Invasion is a JOKE!
The movie re-visits the point about Humans being Violent by nature.....but the tacked on happy ending was totally un-convincing.
It's one of those endings that makes you think to yourself, "That's the Best they could do?!?"
It's an ending that leaves a bad taste in your mouth and kills whatever small positive feelings you had about the movie.
The superior version of this story is in Invasion of the Body Snatchers from 1978.
But give The Invasion a try anyway.
It's "Okay" for the first 80 minutes.....but be ready to watch some pretty stupid action scenes followed by a bogus happy ending.
The Invasion was a HUGE Financial Flop!
Afterwards, a rumor was spread all over the internet about Warner Bros. President of Production, Jeff Robinov.
The rumor was about a statement that Robinov "allegedly" made. He "allegedly" said:
"Warner Bros. will No longer make movies with Females in the Lead."
Robinov has never admitted to making this statement and he says that Warner Bros. has plans to make more movies in the future with Females in the Lead Role.
You can read more about this Rumor on Rotten Tomatoes! (new window)
Danny will now share with you a Deep, Dark, Personal Secret.....
"Danny Has Always Loved
Nicole Kidman"
Nicole Kidman"
I was 13-years-old when I first laid by "Lustful Eyes" on a young Nicole Kidman!
She was in an Australian movie called Dead Calm in 1989.....and she was so Freakin' HOT!!!!
I mean she was Literally Melting my TV Screen!
Nicole Kidman definitely helped turn Danny from a boy to a MAN!
Nicole Kidman is one of Danny's All-Time Favorite MILF's! (new window)
Danny is really glad he didn't have Nicole Kidman for a mom.....cause Danny would've definitely had some Scary "Oedipus Complex" (new window) issues growing up!
Oh, yeah.....I've been told that Nicole Kidman is a pretty good actress too.
To think that Nicole Kidman allowed Tom Cruise to GROPE her for 10 years makes Danny sick to his stomach!
But I really don't want to hate Nicole Kidman.....so Danny has decided to "conveniently" place her in the role of "victim" and say that it's completely Tom Cruise's fault!
That's the way it is in our Politically Correct World.....no matter what the circumstances may be, it's always the Husband's Fault!
Tom must have brainwashed Nicole with his Scientology Mumbo-Jumbo (new window) to the point where she was not responsible for her actions.
Is it Legally Possible to be Temporarily Insane for 10 Years?!?
Maybe Nicole Kidman thought that her role in The Invasion was the perfect role for her because she really did live in a world of "Science Fiction" for 10 Years!
If Xenu (new window) is still alive somewhere in the galaxy, he must be very pleased that a Numb-Skull like Tom Cruise is the star attraction of the Scientology Circus Act!
Big Fat Hairy Balls" Shit.....if Tom Cruise ever sees what I just wrote, he'll definitely Sue Danny's Ass! Danny will be forced to shut down Entertainment Movie Guide and "Sell His Body" on the street for some "Bread and Water" Money! I wonder if being a street whore is as glamorous as Julia Roberts made it look in Pretty Woman?!? Somehow, Danny doubts it.  |
Tom Cruise really does love to use his lawyers to keep people from saying out loud what is clearly obvious.....Tom Cruise and Scientology are Scam-Artists and Snake-Oil Salesmen!
There.....I said it!
Come and get me, Tom Cruise.....if you can find me!
My "Real Name" is John Doe and I live in Anytown, U.S.A.
"CAST
OF
THE INVASION"
OF
THE INVASION"
as Carol Bennell | as Ben Driscoll |
as Tucker Kaufman | as Oliver |
as Dr. Stephen Galeano | as Wendy Lenk |
as Dr. Henryk Belicec | as Ludmilla Belicec |
as Yorish |
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