Arnold Schwarzenegger:

"The Deadliest Actor From Hollywood's Golden Age Of Action Movies.....
This Guy Used To Kick A Lot Of Ass!"
(October 2008)

This guy had it all.....except a Good Command of the English Language.

But since he went out of his way to show off his Bulging Biceps, Quads and Pectoral Muscles.....all of his female fans couldn't care less if he butchered the English Language or not.

After all, these Horny Chicks only wanted Arnold Schwarzenegger to give them a Very Special, Very Exclusive Workout.....if you know what I mean.

In case you don't know what I mean.....these Chicks wanted Arnold Schwarzenegger to have Sex with them.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.....I can already hear the arguments some of you are already making.....


• But Danny.....how can you admire Arnold Schwarzenegger?

• Don't you know he took Steroids during his Bodybuilding and Acting Careers?


Of course, I'm aware of this.

And my response is.....Who The Fuck Cares?!?

Don't be jealous of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Success!

Learn from him!

Follow in his footsteps!

If Steroids worked for him, then Logic Dictates that it should work for you too!

I'm Joking! Relax!

I would have followed in Arnold Schwarzenegger's Huge Footsteps and hit those weights while on Steroids.....if I had done that a long time ago, then I wouldn't have been beaten up so much when I was in school!

I wouldn't have been treated like The School Punching Bag!

You see that scrawny Girlie-Man in the background?

That Was Me!

What I mean is that I Used To Be just like that Loser!

I was always "Riding The Pine" on the Sidelines.....while the Real Studs were out doing "Studly Things."

He's looking at Arnold and he knows, deep down inside, that Arnold is gonna have the Hottest Sex with the Hottest Girls WAY MORE than he ever will!

He doesn't even have the guts to "Spot" Arnold with his weights.....cause he knows he's incapable of "Spotting" Arnold Schwarzenegger!

"Danny Still Carries A Lot Of Pain
In His Heart"

Yes.....I did get picked on a lot in School cause I was Gutless, Dickless Wimp with No Self-Confidence.....and all the other kids knew it.

However, I didn't solve my problems by taking Steroids and take the Risk of Killing Myself from all of the Physical Complications that comes from Steroid Abuse.

Even though.....

By taking Steroids, I would have turned myself from a Weakling who was scared of his own shadow.....

.....To the kind of Buffed-up Muscle-Man that would have been the Envy of all the other Guys and the Desire of all the Babes.

Yeah.....I'm so glad that I took that Moral "High Ground."

Moral Victories sure are satisfying, huh?

Now that I've given you the Responsible and Politically Correct.....

Which is another way of saying Completely Retarded and Totally Bullshit.....view about Moral Victories, let me tell you the how I "Really Feel."

This is the Real Truth.....

If I could have just One Wish.....

I would wish to go back into the past, take a whole Shit-Load of Steroids.....

And then totally Kick the Fuckin' Hell out of all those Assholes who tormented Pathetic Little Danny a long time ago!

Then I would Seduce, Fuck and Dump every girl who wouldn't go out with me.

And why didn't these girls want to go out with Danny?

Because they didn't want to be seen with a Pathetic Loser who didn't have the Balls to stand up for himself!

You know what?

"The First Movie Danny Ever Purchased Was An Arnold Schwarzenegger Movie"

It was a VHS copy of the movie.....and I bought it for about $80!

No Shit.....I Spent $80 in 1986 on a VHS copy of Commando!

I don't remember exactly how I got the money.....

But I must have conned somebody BIG TIME (My Mom and Dad?) to get my hands on $80 at the tender age of 10 Years Old.

I mean, it's not like I was out Mowing Lawns at 10 Years Old to make money back then.....back then I was just a Lazy Little Bum!


One of the things I Loved about Commando was that it had a young, cute Alyssa Milano in it.

I had a Huge Crush on her when I was Growing Up!

And she grew up to be a Smokin' Hot Woman!

Alyssa Milano still makes Danny got all Warm and Fuzzy in his Private Parts.

This guy had NO MUSCLE at all!

He even had Love Handles, for God's Sake! His Stomach was just one big Jelly Role!

Arnold Schwarzenegger should have been able to wipe the floor with him in his sleep.....

On the Positive Side, Arnold Schwarzenegger does kill A LOT of guys in Commando!

And when I say "A Lot Of Guys," I really mean....."A LOT Of Guys!"

So, that aspect ALONE makes Commando a great Action Movie.....not to mention the Gratuitous Nudie Shot that was thrown in for no reason at all!

That was one of the best parts of Action Movies in the 1980s.....for no reason whatsoever, Naked Boobs would Magically appear on Screen all the time!

Lame-Ass Feminists used to say that Gratuitous Nudie Scenes in Male Action Movies was Sexist.....but Danny says they were Beautiful Works Of Art.

Just like the art created by Michaelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, Picasso.....and those Artists who only became Art Majors just so that they could Stare at and Paint the Boobs of Naked Female Models all day long.

"Before The Terminator.....
Arnold Schwarzenegger Was Conan"

Sword-and-Sorcery movies enjoyed a bit of a comeback because of Conan the Barbarian.

The entire movie was one Big Bloody-Feast of Sex and Violence because Arnold Schwarzenegger was Killing and Fucking everything in sight!

As great as Conan the Barbarian was, it's sequel, Conan the Destroyer is just as Stupid.

The movie marketed towards Teenagers..... so the Blood and Gore were toned down while the Stupid Jokes were turned up.

As lame as Conan the Destroyer was, the movie does have one of my All-Time Favorite Movie Quotes.....

Near the end of the movie, Conan and his friends are surrounded by soldiers who are being led by a Powerful Wizard.

One of Conan's friends tries to talk to the Wizard; to reason with him.

But Conan gets Bored really quickly and says.....

This is a Classic 1980s Action Scene.....where Violent Manly Action speaks Much Louder than Weak Pussy Words.


In 1985, he starred in the Huge Flop, Red Sonja.

To this day, I don't know why he did this movie.

He made it one year after he starred in the Mega-Hit, The Terminator.

I've read that he did it as a favor to the producers of Red Sonja because these same producers helped launch his career when they casted him in Conan the Barbarian.

Red Sonja is one of those "It's So Bad That It's Pretty Good" type of movies.

For some Bizarre reason that I cannot explain to this very day.....I used to really love Red Sonja back when I was 10 years old.

I used to think it was so Awesome.....maybe it was watching that 6-foot Tall Amazonian Goddess, Brigitte Nielsen, that kept me interested.

Brigitte Nielsen couldn't act at all and, to this day, she is mostly known for.....


• Starring in Red Sonja which has developed a bit of a Cult following.....especially since the character of Red Sonja still lives on in Comic Books.


• Being one of Dozens of Hot Model/Actresses that Sylvester Stallone had sex with in the 1980s


• And having a Very Bizarre Love Affair with Part-time Rapper, Full-time Meth Addict, Flavor Flav.....which was played out in front of the entire world on several "Reality" TV shows.


You wouldn't know it if you seen pictures of her recently but, back in 1985, Brigitte Nielsen had a Gorgeous Body (especially her Legs).....and in Hollywood, the casting of girls with Sex Appeal Always Overshadows the casting of girls with Real Talent.

Watching Red Sonja today is a little embarrassing. The movie that I thought was so Awesome when I was a kid, now seems Really Silly to me.

Still, the movie is pretty funny because of how Silly it is.....like that old Sci-Fi Train Wreck, Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Even Schwarzenegger says that he's embarrassed by Red Sonja.

One of the things he's really embarrassed about is that he got Top Billing for the movie.

If you look at the Red Sonja movie poster, you get the impression that he's the main star.....but he isn't.

Red Sonja is a 90-minute movie.....and Arnold Schwarzenegger is in about 20 minutes of it. He accepted the role on the agreement that his character would be a Supporting Character.

And while his character is a Supporting Character in the movie.....it was advertised a lot differently.

Schwarzenegger didn't like the fact that the Movie Studio deliberately lied to his fans about his role in Red Sonja.

Arnold Schwarzenegger never starred in another Swords-and-Sorcery Movie after Red Sonja.

"A Few Points About This Incredible Drawing Of Conan"

Tim Vigil is mostly known for is artwork in the Graphic Sex & Horror Comic Series — Faust: Love Of The Damned.

Be sure to check out Brokenhalos.com (new window)


• This drawing is Tim Vigil's depiction of a popular scene from the classic Robert E. Howard story that was first published in 1934 — The Queen Of The Black Coast.

Robert E. Howard is the original creator of Conan the Barbarian.

All of the modern Conan novels, comic books, movies, TV shows and video games are all based on Robert E. Howard's creation.

You can learn more about Robert E. Howard at Wikipedia.com (new window)


• The Queen Of The Black Coast contains one of my favorite quotes in regard to Conan's point-of-view about mortality.....


"Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion.

I know this.....if life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me.

I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay, and am content."


• The drawing depicts a very popular scene from The Queen Of The Black Coast.

This is a Quick Summary of that Popular Scene.....


The ship that Conan is traveling on is attacked by the Pirate Ship Tigress, which is commanded by a Female Pirate named Bκlit.

Conan is the only living survivor of the attack and he kills a good number of Bκlit pirates before she commands her soldiers to stop the attack.

Bκlit is instantly attracted to Conan.

She is a bloodthirsty barbarian herself and she despises the Weak Men who dwell in cities.

Bκlit decides that she wants Conan to be her Lover and King.....and proceeds to rip off all of her cloths and begins the "Mating Dance" that is customary with her people.

She dances in a seductive manner in front of Conan and her entire crew of pirates who view her as more of a Goddess than a Pirate Captain.

Conan.....who enjoys Sex with Beautiful, Lusty Women almost as much as Killing Men on the battlefield.....decides to be her King.

Conan then has Sex with Bκlit on the deck of her ship and in front of her entire crew.


• Awesome scene, huh?

Many of Robert E. Howard's original Conan stories contains scenes like that.

A few years ago, all of Howard's Original Stories were complied into a Collection of Books.

If you are interested, you can find these books at Amazon.com.....


• The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian (Book #1)


• The Bloody Crown of Conan (Book #2)


• The Conquering Sword of Conan (Book #3)

"Arnold Schwarzenegger Goes
From Big Movie Star.....
To Super, Ultra, Mega Movie Star!"

I was not allowed to see it at the Movie Theater.....some Bullshit Excuse about me being 8-Years old and too young to watch Cool Violent Action Movies.

Of course, no one knew at the time that I had been enjoying Sexual, Violent Movies for years by that point.

We didn't have many cable stations back in the 1980s.....but we did have HBO, Showtime and Cinemax (aka....."Skinamax").

And when my parents were sleeping, I would indulge myself in the "Forbidden Fruit" of late-night R-rated movies.

Plus, every once in a while, I would take my Mom's Video Rental Card and rent the type of movies that I was not allowed to see. The clerk at the video store was Really Cool and never ratted me out to my Mom or Dad.

Getting back to The Terminator.....the first time I did manage to watch it was when I was vacationing with my family in a mountain cabin in Lake George, New York.

And as usual, when my parents had fallen asleep I made sure to keep myself awake long enough to catch The Terminator.

And how did an 8-Year old kid manage to stay up longer than his Loving Parents?

Simple.....Lots and Lots of Caffeine Drinks! Coca-Cola was my personal favorite at the time.

Watching Arnold Schwarzenegger as the bad guy was really shocking.....the only movies I was used to seeing him in were his Conan movies where he was the Hero.

It still amazes me to this day that The Terminator was able to look so awesome on only a budget of Six Million Dollars.

Six Million Bucks wasn't "Chicken Feed" in 1984.....but I think it was a little low considering that there are scenes containing Futuristic Combat and Cyborgs with Guns!

Nowadays, I don't think Six Million Dollars would even cover the costs for Advertising Space on any of the Major TV Networks during Prime Time.

And that's why Story and Character Development are so Crucial.

James Cameron, who wrote and directed The Terminator, relied on Story and Character Development to make his movie a success.

Some of the Special Effects are a little too dated.....for instance, when the cyborg removes his own eyeball.

However, The Terminator is still a Great Action/Sci-Fi Classic Movie.

And it was because of the Financial Success of The Terminator, that James Cameron was asked to direct what would turn out to be another Action/Sci-Fi Classic.....Aliens!

Oh, yeah! I almost forgot.....The Terminator was the first time Arnold Schwarzenegger uttered those famous words.....

I remember seeing commercials for the movie almost a Full Year before it actually came out on July 3, 1991.


Director James Cameron had stated that he had wanted to make Terminator 2 sooner.....but that the Computer Technology was not yet available to create the Liquid Cyborg that he had in mind.

I recall George Lucas saying the same thing about the original Star Wars from 1977.....that the Technology had not yet been created to handle his "Vision".

This was his justification for the Movie Abortions that he called the Star Wars Special Editions in 1997.....where he implanted Modern Digital Images into the Old Star Wars movies.

If I ever see George Lucas in person, I'm gonna kick him Right Square in the Balls!


My Dad took me to see Terminator 2.....I was 15 Years Old at the time.

And, like everyone else, I was completely blown away by the Special Effects.

The Special Effects, particularly involving the T-1000 Liquid Metal Cyborg, have stood up really well over time.

I think James Cameron's use of Special Effects is much more effective than modern filmmakers today who are too dependent on Computer Graphics.....like Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich.

Whereas a lot of Digital Special Effects today are completely obvious and doesn't quite match when they are mixed with live action characters .....Cameron's special effects always blended in well.

Plus.....Terminator 2 never lets the Special Effects take over the movie. Like the original Terminator, Story and Character Development always came first.

The Great Special Effects were there to Supplement the Storyline.....not Replace it.

I recall that Arnold Schwarzenegger choose a Guns-n-Roses song, "You Could Be Mine", to be in the movie.

MTV used to do a Day-Long TV event at the end of the year called "The Top 100 Videos".....and "You Could Be Mine" was selected as the #1 MTV Video of 1991.

Just like in The Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger became known for another great Movie Catchphrase.....

Arnold Schwarzenegger would score another Big Hit with 1994's True Lies, which was also Directed by James Cameron.

All of Arnold Schwarzenegger's movies since 1994 have been have been Modest at best in comparison to the Mega-Hits I've already discussed.....until he played a Terminator one last time in Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines in 2003.

After that, he turned he attention to other things.

"Arnold.....Buddy.....
Please Go Back To The Gym"

He was elected in a special Recall Election which resulted in Democrat Governor Gray Davis getting booted out of office.....and Arnold Schwarzenegger taking his place.

This emergency election occurred before I moved to California in 2006.

Since Arnold Schwarzenegger has been Governor, he's been referred to as "The Governator."

I know....I think it's stupid too.

But from what people tell me, Gray Davis will NOT be missed.....although things have not improved much in California since Arnold Schwarzenegger took over.

This is because so many Politicians here in California are so Corrupt that even "The Governator" himself can't seem to get anything done.

It used to be so much easier for "Arnold" when all he had to do was Slaughter a bunch of people with a Machine Gun to get his way.

"Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies"

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